Sunday, August 4, 2013

Does SEX=babies in your marriage??????

I want to clarify that I borrowed some of this post from a fellow blogger friend.  

So, kinda personal topic to cover online, but I have felt that I should share this.

When we were early in our marriage, I always wanted, hoped, dreamed, and planned that our sex life would lead to babies.

It was about 3 months into our marriage that we were told (after 11 months of trying to get pregnant) that we would likely never conceive.

At this point, I made a conscience decision to separate sex from babies.

I did this to survive...

...or I would have died of heartache.

I had to keep telling myself that sex was not for making babies. You see, by nature, we KNOW that sex is for procreation. So, it was an internal battle I had to fight every day.

The thing is, the more I separated sex from procreation in my mind, the more it hurt my marriage. It made me hate the thought of having sex because it it was missing 1/2 its purpose. When you separate the 2 purposes (procreation and unity) BOTH are destroyed. You can't grow in unity with your spouse if you have made the decision to eliminate the procreative side of intimacy.

How does this affect a husband and wife who have been confirmed to be infertile (NO pregnancies in over 7 years of marriage)? We have NOT chosen to be infertile. We have always been open to life. That doesn't change the fact that sex will never = babies in our marriage. We truly struggle on a day to day basis because we can NOT change this fact.

For years now I have tried to convince myself that being open to life is somehow the same as being able to take part in procreation, it is JUST NOT THE SAME THING!

It's so amazing, that after 'adopting' Emma Katherine, our bedroom life has gotten much better.  It's like I don't even think of, "Well maybe this time we will get pregnant!!" like I always have the past years.  I actually enjoy my husband and just think of him and our love for each other.  

Adoption has helped my marriage in many ways and EK is only 7 week sold.  :)

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Beyond HORRIFIED to say the least.

On Thursday, (7/18/13), EK and I planned to have a lazy stay at home; do laundry; spend time together; pajama kind of day.  I had done all of EK's laundry and was in her room putting it all away.  She got fussy so I stopped to feed and put her down for a nap.  After feeding her, I just laid her down in the livingroom in her rocker in front of the TV.  As I was in her room doing the laundry I realized I hadn't heard her for a couple minutes.  Uppon checking on her I found that she had spit up and was choking on it.  OMG!!!  Wanna talk about freaking out???  That's what I did.  I jerked her up and was hitting her back.  Her and I just cried and cried.  I immediately called her pedi and they told me to come in immediately.

As you all know we have these awesome painted rooms.  This is our 3rd visit there whch means our 3rd room.  It was sooo girly.  I loved it.  

I love the castle.  I have been forgetting to take pictures of the previous rooms we had been in but I'm trying to be better about it from this point on.  

My sweet girl.  

HOLY SMOKES....My baby is almost 11lbs.  She's a chunk.

Nurse measuring her.

Back in the room waiting for Dr to come in.  

SPOILED...She didn't wanna lay there anymore.  She watned Mommy to hold her.

My little angel baby.  :))

They think she either has a touch if stomach bug(it's going around) or acid reflux. Said if it gets better within a couple days it was stomach virus, if not its acid reflux and bring her back in. They told me to feed her 3oz every 3 hours and make sure she's not laying down when she's eating. Also after feeding, to keep her upright for 20-25 minutes. If that doesn't help within the next week an she gets worse bring her back in.  

I'm hoping this helps her.  If not I will definitely be heading back to the Dr. to see what's up.

That night after coming home from the dr I decided to put little Miss Em in a photo shoot.  HAHA.  She's so beautiful. 

And look at Daddy.  He thinks he can pull off these little precious "lets trick mommy into letting you sleep with Daddy tonight." epidones but it's NOT happening.  It's not that I don't want her sleeping with me.  It's the fact that the #1 cause of SIDS(Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) is caused from letting your child sleep with you.  I was already against it before I found this out but since this has been brought to my attention I am head strong about it.  

But aren't they just precious???  I sure think so.  He loves his baby girls sooo much and it shows so much.

The following 5:30am feeding.  Someone was so happy to have a tummy full.  HAHA!

Friday, July 19, 2013

Videos from my phone of my sweet Emma Katherine.

I am all the time taking sweet little videos of EK doing various things.  My Iphone 4 has turned into a crappy phone so before it decided to crash I wanna get thses on here that way I will have them in the future.

The day of our adoption court we went by my sisters house.  She played outside with Emma and she LOVED it.  It was precious.  I have got to get EK one of these swings for our house.

We went over to Jessicas the other night (7/16/13) and she made us supper.  When we got home Joe laid EK in her bed and turned the mobile on.  She liked it for awhile but then she started getting frustrated.

This is just a little clip of how spoiled rotten EK is.  Beyond rotten.  HAHA!!  

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Praise GOD!!!

I was called by my lawyer's secretary yesterday that the final decree of adoption was ready for me to pick up.  Thank God!!  Reading over that paper work where it states that Joseph and I ARE the parents as of July 11, 2013 just didn't seem real.  William Joseph and Mary Katherine Tanner ARE the parents to Emma Katherine Tanner.  Reality has now set in.  What a blessing we have been given by 2 selfless young parents.  We couldn't be happier.  :)  Praise God is all I know to do.

It has now set in that I have a daughter.  No, I didn't actually give birth to her but who cares.  I sure don't and neither does Joe.  He and I talked about that the other night.  How it never crosses his mind, or mine, that Emma doesn't have our blood running through her veins.  She is ours in every way that matters.  She is my little princess and I can't imagine my life without her.  I mean, what did I possibly do before here.  I honestly don't know.  I have only had her now for little over a month and my life revolves around Emma.  Man, I am so blessed.

My baby girl loves to ride in her stroller.  :) 
July 13 was Grandmother Carolyn's birthday and Emma Katherine's 1 month birthday.  So we went to see GCarolyn.  She was rocking and singing to EK.  So sweet.  :)

Even though she wears hair bows, pink&purple, and this I'm not a Boy bib I still get asked "IT" a boy or a girl?  Some people are crazy.  :)
I love Mommy.  Yes she does.  She's my baby girl that I love more than my own life.  Couldn't life one day without her.

Yesterday we went to visit my mawmaw.  Emma was amazed by her.  lol

She just looked at her while MawMaw was talking.  It was funny.  HAHA..

Sunday, July 14, 2013

1 month already???

I know I'm a day late....but...Holy cow...Where has the time gone?  My sweet baby girl is 1 month old already???  Tear..Tear!!  I had a baby shower to go to yesterday so I just took Emma's monthly picture before heading out.  

My sweet baby didn't want to take pictures today.  lol  She's so spoiled.  HAHA!!

  • We have transitioned her to size 1 diapers.  At the time I switched her she could still wear the NB ones but the box I had was a 76ct box and I knew by the time we got 1/2 way through that box she would have been grown out of them and I would have been stuck with the NB ones.  The size 1 are a little big but not to bad.  I do believe she will be in size one for awhile though.
  • She still eats about every 2-3 hours, most mostly every 2.
  • The past couple nights she has gotten bath, bottle, swaddle starting at 8pm.  She's usually in bed by 9-9:30 and has been sleeping for around 6 1/2 hours, not waking until around 4:30.  I am so excited for better sleeping nights.  
  • Today, she has started sitting alone better.  I will sit her boopy in the recliner and turn cartoons on.  Usually she will sit there for about 5-10minutes without crying but today she has sat there for over an hour watching Doc McStuffins.  She fell asleep there so I just left her there.  She's such a sweet girl.
  • We have already delt with her being constipated.  It was horrible.  She was in so much pain.  After many calls to her pediatrician we finally got it under control.  I am to give her about 2oz of apple juice or white grape juice 2x a day.  Emma doesn't like white grape so we are doing the apple juice.  She loves it.
  • I really wish she liked water but she don't.  I have tried several times to give her water and she makes a face and spits it out.  It's to funny.  HAHA!!
  • Since getting to give her a real bath she loves it.  I am so happy she loves bath time now.
  • I am getting more into a normal routine with Emma.  It's such a good feeling knowing we are getting on more of a routine now.
  • For the most part Emma is still wearing some newborn clothes.  Some are to small but some are to big.  Yesterday Joe put her on a 3 month onesie and it fit pretty good.  It had to have been made small because she can't wear anything else 3 month.
  • Not sure how much she weighs now.  I'm guessing around 11lbs or so.  lol  She will go back to the DR. when she's 2 months old.  That will be time for shots so Im not looking forward to that.
  • We had our adoption court Thursday, July 11.  Our petition for Adoption was granted. :)  WHOOHOO!!!  So I gotta get her name changed on her SS card, her insurance, and WIC.  I'm excited for it to say Emma Katherine Tanner.  :)

Adoption Day!!

Well it's official. Emma Katherine is legally mine. Our adoption day has came and gone. It's so bittersweet but Joe and I couldn't be happier knowing Emma is finally ours. My heart goes out to my sweet niece, Rikki and her boyfriend, Keith!!  Joseph and I owe all of our happiness to those selfless babies. I just know one day they will be great parents to another precious angel and I can wait. :).

The day started off pretty good. Today is the day Lori was to go home so she had to get up and gather all her stuff. (She left a pair of shorts I'm gonna have to send to her.)  After getting Emma and I ready we had to go get Joe from work. After getting to Tuscaloosa Lee called and said they were in Tuscaloosa. I was so excited because I wanted Rikki Leigh to come see Emma's room. :). After getting Joe we went and got Rikki for her to ride with us.  Rikki started crying before she even saw Emma. :)). I love that sweet girl more than she will ever know.

Keith had clinicals so he wasn't able to come.  :(  Since he is an adult we were able to mail him his paperwork for him to sign, have notarized, and mail back.  It totally sucked he couldn't be here but if there were any way possible he could have been he would have.   They will both come back soon to see Emma together.  :)

Joe, Rikki, Emma, and I headed back to my house with Lee, Lori, and Scotty following behind us.   Once we got here, I was super excited for Rikki to see Emma's room.  :))  She loved it and it made me soo happy.

By this time it was time for Emma to eat.  I made her a bottle and Rikki fed her.  It was so sweet watching them 2 together.

She just looks so natural.  Rikki couldn't stop looking at Emma.  Make my heart happy to see them 2 together.  For Emma to look so much like Rikki they also look soo different.  It's kinda weird.  lol

I snapped a few pictures of Rikki and Emma in my front yard before heading to court.  They turned out sooo beautifully.  I am going to print them off and put in Emma's room for her to look at.  I think she will love it.  

This was my favorite one.  My beautiful niece and her baby girl.  So beautiful.

We had to be at the lawyers office at 2:30 for Rikki's lawyer to talk to her before the court actually started.  We had to wait for what seemed like forever.

We were just patiently waiting.

Finally we were called back to the little side room for our court.  We had to sit there longer and wait for Rikki's lawyer to get there.  He was called short notice so it wasn't his fault.   This was Rikki holding Emma waiting.  It was so sweet.
My beautiful girls.  These 2 sweet babies are so dear to my heart and I love them both soooo much and would give my life for them both.  

Finally our court was started.  It was sad but we made it.  Lots and lots of tears were shed and my heart was broken for my precious Rikki but she's such a strong girl.  When she has her mind set to something she doesn't let anything change it.  I will forever be thankful for her selfless act.  Our petition for adoption was granted.....Thank God!!!  

After our court was over and before Rikki had to leave we went out to the front of the court house and took pictures one last time.
Rikki and her family, minus Keith.

Beautiful.  I love it.  I can't help but love every picture of these 2 together. 


Emma and her 2 mommies.  She is so loved and was before she was even born.

Emma, both her mommies, and one of her daddy's.  Wish Keith could have been there then this picture would have been complete.

This is one of my absolute favorites.  Emma will ALWAYS know Rikki loved her more than her own life...That's why she chose to adopt her out.  Emma will grow up to love Rikki so much. I will make sure of that.  

I love seeing Rikki wearing the necklace Joe and I picked out for her.  Means so much to me.

I can't believe our adoption process is over.  There have been soooo many nerves, tears, and heartache involved but it's now over.  We have a new beginning and I am so happy for it.  Just for the record, just because Rikki and Keith signed their rights over to Joe and I for Emma didn't mean they closed that chapter in their life.  It just means they have started a new beginning together, and also with Emma, but just from a distance.  They both know they are always welcome here at our home and to see Emma anytime they want to.  Joe and I are so excited to see Rikki and Keith achieve the goals they had set for themselves before Emma was conceived, but we are more excited to allow Emma to be apart of it.  I can't wait to take Emma next year to Rikki's high school graduation and for Emma to be clapping and so excited for her.  Will definitely have a post on that when the time comes.  :)

So here is to our new beginning.....The life of Joseph, Katie, and Emma Katherine Tanner.  We ARE a family of 3...Something I never thought I would ever get to say but thanks to Rikki and Keith I can.  :)  

Sunday, July 7, 2013

First Bath

Ever since Emma was born I have just been able to get her a bath on the sling that comes with the infant bathtub.  She hated it.  She would scream bloody murder.  Well, after getting her umbilical cord removed last Friday, I deided it was time to try her out submerged in the tub.  July 3rd, 2013  :))  Emma loves it.  She didn't know what to think at first but she loved it.  :)  I'm so happy bath time isn't so bad now.

Sleepy baby girl. 
She's all warm and snugly now.  I am one blessed mommy, that's for sure.  :))

2 week Dr. Appt.

Emma had her 2 week Dr. Appt on June 28th.  Thankfully Joe was off work so he could go with us.  It was so much more relaxing to know he was there with us.  :))

While sitting in the waiting room little miss wanted out of that seat.  Of course Daddy was there to the rescue.  :)  Not sure if you can tell but Daddy loves his little princess....I think just about as much as she loves him.  

Look at that little grin.  Joe always talks to Emma as shes falling asleep.  And this is what Emma does.  She just smiles at him.  It's so precious.

After about a 30 minute waiting period we were called back.  This was the room we were taken into.  Exam Room 4-Jungle themed room.  All the rooms are painted for a different seen.  I think it's so cute.

When you get into your room, the nurse tells you to strip your baby down into a dry diaper and come to the weight room.  Emma was ready to go see how much she weighed this time.  HAHA

Look at my little beauty queen.  :)

Checking heart beat and listening to her lungs.  Perfect baby girl..THANK GOD!!!

Joe and I weren't shocked to see that Emma had went from 8.6lbs to 9.5lbs in just 1 week.  She doesn't miss a meal, that's for sure.  HAHA..  She is our little chunky monkey that's for sure.
While back in our exam room, it was time for Emma to eat.  She definitely has a set of lungs so when she is hungry you will know it right off.  :)  Joe fed her and then was burping her.  Since she is real gassy you have to burp her multiple times or her tummy will start hurting her.

Dr. Heather Taylor is AWESOME!!!  I am so pleased with her as my daughters Pediatrician.

After Emma's exam, Dr. Taylor asked me if I would like her to remove Emma's umbilical cord.  It was just barely hanging on by one tiny side but if it were to be jerked off she could bleed to death.  I was concerned of it hurting her but Dr. Taylor assured me it wouldn't.  It's dead and has no feeling in it.  So I turned and consulted with Joe and we decided to go ahead and do it.  I had to hold her hands down and the nurse held her feet.  Emma was screaming and it about killed me.  I couldn't stand it.  Dr. Taylor again assured me she's only screaming because we are having to hold her down, not because she's in pain.  

After she cut the umbilical cord off she had to put some silver nitrate on it to stop the bleeding.   Emma was still crying but not as bad as when we were holding her down.  :((

My poor baby girl.  Breaks my heart.  But at least I don't have to worry about jerking it off and risk her bleeding to death.

After seeing Dr. Taylor, we had to go around to the LAB and get more blood work.  It's awful.  Emma hates it...As do anyone else.  :(  My poor baby slept all the way around the medical center not knowing what was about to happen to her.  :((

I didn't get any pictures of her getting her blood drawn because I was trying my best to comfort her.  She was crying hysterically and it breaks my heart.  
This picture was taken in the car on the way to Walmart.  As you can tell she was ok almost immediately after I snuggled her up to me. and let her know mommy is never gonna let anyone hurt her intentionally.  Blood work is a have to kinda thing, unfortunately.