I want to clarify that I borrowed some of this post from a fellow blogger friend.
So, kinda personal topic to cover online, but I have felt that I should share this.
When we were early in our marriage, I always wanted, hoped, dreamed, and planned that our sex life would lead to babies.
It was about 3 months into our marriage that we were told (after 11 months of trying to get pregnant) that we would likely never conceive.
At this point, I made a conscience decision to separate sex from babies.
I did this to survive...
...or I would have died of heartache.
I had to keep telling myself that sex was not for making babies. You see, by nature, we KNOW that sex is for procreation. So, it was an internal battle I had to fight every day.
The thing is, the more I separated sex from procreation in my mind, the more it hurt my marriage. It made me hate the thought of having sex because it it was missing 1/2 its purpose. When you separate the 2 purposes (procreation and unity) BOTH are destroyed. You can't grow in unity with your spouse if you have made the decision to eliminate the procreative side of intimacy.
How does this affect a husband and wife who have been confirmed to be infertile (NO pregnancies in over 7 years of marriage)? We have NOT chosen to be infertile. We have always been open to life. That doesn't change the fact that sex will never = babies in our marriage. We truly struggle on a day to day basis because we can NOT change this fact.
For years now I have tried to convince myself that being open to life is somehow the same as being able to take part in procreation, it is JUST NOT THE SAME THING!
It's so amazing, that after 'adopting' Emma Katherine, our bedroom life has gotten much better. It's like I don't even think of, "Well maybe this time we will get pregnant!!" like I always have the past years. I actually enjoy my husband and just think of him and our love for each other.
Adoption has helped my marriage in many ways and EK is only 7 week sold. :)
Interested to hear your thoughts on my post!
ReplyDeleteYes ma'am. I tried to tag you in this but couldn't figure out how. I feel like I relate to you so much on this journey to motherhood. You can see what I copied and what I wrote myself. Didn't try to take credit for your post at all. Hope you didn't get offended.
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